Breaking

Two Words that Maim Your Inner Warrior

Breaking / Carousel / Perspective / February 5, 2016

Throughout the course of my life, I’ve believed myself to be a warrior.

It wasn’t until this year that I realized I’d been maiming my inner warrior with two words:

I’m trying.

  • “I’m trying to be present and it’s just…”
  • “I’m trying to stay focused…”
  • “I’m trying to move forward…”
  • “I’m trying to figure out the next best step…”
  • “I’m trying to live my dreams to the fullest…”
  • “I’m trying to save my money but every time…”
  • “I’m trying not mess up, I’m trying to do this right…”

Trying…trying…trying…always trying.

Always focusing more on what I was trying to do instead of what I was actually doing, accomplishing, or overcoming.

And I say this with no arrogance or conceit, but I’ve been doing, accomplishing, and overcoming a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT and not giving myself enough credit for any of it.  Every time I uttered or wrote the word “trying,” I struck a blow to the warrior within me.

The warrior within me doesn’t TRY. The warrior within me gets like Nike, the shoe company, and just DOES it. In fact, the warrior within me embodies Nike, the winged goddess, and personifies VICTORY long before it’s actually achieved.

The day I began describing my actions by leading with those two words was the day I became my own worst enemy. Those words became mental and spiritual weapons.

The Difference

Let me just say that using the word “try” or “trying” says to the universe, “I think I can, but I’m not sure so I don’t know if you should give it to me because I’m not sure. But I’ll give it a try, but just know I’m not sure.”

And the universe is all, “Make up your mind, damn it. If you won’t SOMEONE will, and you will never have.”

But doing?

Doing says to the universe, “Bring that opportunity here. I want it, it’s mine, and I’m down for the ride to wherever you want to take me.”

By definition “trying” when used as a verb means to make an attempt or effort to do, see, attain or achieve something. Without doubt, this is all well and good. Based on how we were conditioned as children and teenagers, we’re supposed to try, and try, and try again.

If at first thou doesn’t succeedeth, thou shalt busteth your ass, focuseth your mind, and trieth again.

Now I don’t know why the hell I went all archaic with that sentence, but we’re here now so just stay with me on this and chuckle that one away…haha…ha.

It can be argued that trying becomes doing when the attempt or effort to do, see, attain or achieve has been fully carried out. As in, “I tried zip lining once and it was the scariest shit of my life.”

The interesting thing is, even in that moment you no longer tried zip lining, you went zip lining, it was your first time and it was scary as shit.

Or: “I tried sushi one time and I haven’t stopped eating it since.”

You didn’t try sushi; the first time you ate sushi, you loved it. Now when you see a fish swimming you’re all, “Mmm, you’d look good rolled in some rice and seaweed, with a little Wasabi on top.”

In my world (an albeit colorful and fun one if I do say so myself), trying is when you attempt to make an attempt–which leaves you in a constant state of attempting–while doing is the moment when it’s no longer an attempt or effort because it’s actually been achieved or fulfilled.

Call it a petty war on wards but give me allllllll my credit. I didn’t come to the restaurant, order the sushi, and then when it was in front of my face become overwhelmed with fear, and later tell my friends how I tried to eat. I came to the restaurant, ordered the sushi, and when it was in front of my face, I grabbed the soy sauce and a ginger shaving, and threw that thing back like I’d been eating it since I set up shop in my mother’s belly.

That wasn’t trying, that was doing.

I came, I saw, I conquered the sushi, baby!

Even when you think of those moments when you may want someone to eat a new food, you usually say what? “Try it and see if you like it.”

The word “try” instinctively puts the first timer on the defense (especially if they dislike or fear the unfamiliar) because now they know there’s a risk associated with whatever is before them. Chances are they’ll think more about all the ways it could go wrong, instead of, “oh shit, something new that I might like!”

So let’s change that now to, “Here, have some.”

In short: the words “try” or “trying” can be dangerous. Tread carefully.

Hindsight and that 20/20

In those many times when I would write in my journal about how much I was “trying” in life, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, or lacking, I was subconsciously adopting a victim mentality.

  • “I’m trying to be present and it’s just…” | I couldn’t have been trying to be present. I WAS PRESENT. The very fact that I was expressing my current state and my desire within it was an act of being present. I may have been uncomfortable with the circumstances of my life at that time but I was CLEARLY present in them.
  • “I’m trying to move forward…” | I wasn’t trying to move forward, I WAS moving forward because that was my conscious goal. I may not have been moving at the pace that I wanted (I promise you it was like an angel must have tripped on a cloud and accidentally flipped the switch on my life to “snail pace”), but I WAS moving forward. You know how I know? Because I’m nowhere near where I was at in life back then.
  • “I’m trying not mess up; I’m trying to do this right…” | Okay I don’t know what the hell I was thinking there. This is friggin’ impossible to accomplish when it comes to living and loving life fully. Just by trying to not mess up, you’re messing up, because somewhere within you’re not honestly facing somethings about yourself or another person. Like the fact that you’re human and WILL MESS UP. AND THAT’S OKAY as long as you learn and grown from it.
  • “I’m trying to save my money but every time…” | Yeah, so…no. Let’s be honest, there were some purchases that were made that I could have foregone. There was also the option to realize that no matter how financially tough things have gotten in my life, somehow I survived and something worked itself out. Truth is, I wasn’t very conscious of some of my outdated and fearful beliefs about money and its influence on people…so I never realized that I was subconsciously telling the universe: don’t send me any money because I fear that it will only change me or that I’ll only get it to one day lose it all in the most humiliating way. Yeah, when I figured that little subconscious critter out that baby got the boot. Now I’m all: Bring the money on! I deserve wealth and abundance, and I know exactly who the hell I am.

Anywho…

I challenge you to pay attention to when and how you use the word try or trying.

Make sure you’re not adopting a victim mentality and maiming your inner warrior.

Remember: it’s nice to try, but it’s more empowering to do.

– Sincerely Syreeta

 


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