Breaking

#ATOEpiphany: Finding Meaning

ATO Epiphany / Breaking / Carousel / August 3, 2016

Photograph: Schuylkill River Trail, Philadelphia PA

Find meaning.

An epiphany I had once was while jogging Kelly Drive after rising through seven consistent weeks of depression and doubt. I am a young woman of color; the creature with which society breeds a lack of self-appreciation, insecurity, and lessened self-worth. I was accomplished in my blackness, I was distinguished in my womanhood, but enough was never enough. Why leave my bedside in the morning if darkness is to greet my awakening?

Find meaning.

Distinguish melancholy from sadness.

Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most incredible moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter.

Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself.

Find meaning or don’t find meaning but ‘steal’ some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world.

But you need to breathe. And you need to be.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Breathing and not breathing, heart thudding against the surface of your sanity. Sometimes you’ll hold on tight to realize you have no choice but to let go. You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed, yet you are beautiful.

The worst detriment is not being confident in oneself.

Not being comfortable in oneself.

Not believing in oneself.

Find meaning.

Find your purpose.

Acceptance is a small, quiet room. And that’s okay.

 

Submitted by: SB, Photographer

Photograph: Schuylkill River Trail, Philadelphia PA


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